Grace

A letter to the girl who faked having cancer…

To the girl who faked having cancer, I need to tell you something.

First of all, I’m not mad at you. But I do have a confession to make. I was mad at you, and I was very mad at you. You see, cancer is not a joke to me. It’s not something I take lightly. It’s not an outlet to make money. It’s not a way to get attention. And you know what else it isn’t; it’s not curable. Let me show you what cancer is.

 

 

Cancer is the day you decide enough is enough. You’re shaving it, because you’re deciding when it’s time. Cancer’s not calling the shots today.

cancer

Cancer is smiling with someone who loves you unconditionally. Someone who would take all of the pain, the illness, the disease upon himself if it meant I was cured. Someone who kisses your forehead, rubs your feet, brings you anything you can get down, and just sits while you soundly sleep the days away. Cancer doesn’t destroy love. Love perseveres.

Cancer sucks!

Cancer is flaunting your new “hairdo” and hat, because you don’t always feel pretty without it. Your beautiful locks are no longer, but you fight for your confidence. You fight for your health and your future. Cancer is seeing the light in such a harsh and ugly disease. It doesn’t define you. YOU are a beautiful ray of sunshine amidst the darkness. YOU will win this battle.

Me and my wig

Cancer is jumping for joy, because chemo is over! Hooray!

Free of chemo!

Cancer is looking up. Looking up and seeing the God who saw you through it all. Cancer is smiling because you can’t help but feel an overwhelming amount of peace that there’s a God who suffered a surpassing amount for me. This God knows my weaknesses and my pain and says, “I’m here. I know it hurts, but I’m here.” He suffered beside me and with me and I look to Him with the biggest smile. This smile is for You, Lord. Thank You for Your presence and guiding me straight to remission.

Me

Cancer is something else, too. It’s a terrible disease. It’s a disease that took my best friend Home. I witnessed her body grow weaker, her voice grow tired, her pain become excruciating due to cancer. I saw her hair fall out, then grow back, then fall out again. But I also saw a strength that I can’t put into words. Gammy’s strength was powerful and moved myself and many others to believe again. We had to believe in Eternity where we would get to hug her, kiss her, and laugh with her. We had to believe it wasn’t really goodbye; her sweet soul would soon greet us at the Holy Gates. Cancer doesn’t have a single hold on Heaven.

 

 

To the girl who faked cancer, I forgive you and I’m sorry. In fact, I forgive you because I’m sorry. What do I mean by this? I mean that I forgive you because I’m so sorry that whatever your circumstances and wherever you are in life has led you to faking cancer. I’m so sorry that somewhere along the way you became lost and broken. I’m sorry that you’re hurting. I’m sorry that your life hasn’t been touched by the Holy Spirit, and that you’re out there searching for something you just haven’t quite found. My prayer for you is that you find it and you find it in Him. Jesus is where the lost are found and where the broken are healed, and I pray He does that for you. Somewhere along the way someone has failed you, someone like me. Someone who had the chance to tell you about the love of a Savior, but didn’t. And now here you are, still searching. I’m so deeply sorry and I forgive you. Will you forgive me?

The last thing I want to say to you is this: I love you. I love the heck out of you! I hope you know that. You’re special to me and I will continue to pray for you and your journey. You can overcome this and prosper, I promise. Open your heart and mind to change, because it’s coming. In the mean time, I’m not mad at you, I forgive you, I’m sorry, and I love you. 

With love and blessings,

The girl who didn’t fake cancer

 

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